Friday, 16 March 2007

Tax Exile

So, later today I'm going to Ireland.

I'm not going to Ireland for work or, primarily, pleasure, but instead for tax reasons. Because I lived in Korea for two years, then started this job which takes me out of the country a lot, I may be eligible for a tax deduction or even exemption. This means my, ahem, hard-earned cash doesn't get channelled by the government into funding the underclasses. But to make sure of this I need to be out of the country a little more until Monday. Ireland is the only place I can go because I don't have any passports right now – two were lost (with replacements still being processed) and the other is in London getting a Nigerian visa.

This will be the first ever time I've visited Ireland and I'm quite looking forward to it. Obviously I'll have to avoid mentioning the "troubles" and not make jokes about potato famines (the Irish are so sensitive!), and I'll have to make it clear I'm not after any blarney or craic, and it seems that Saturday is St. Patrick's Day, which is usually a day to avoid in Aberdeen as it's full of students trying hard to be over-Irish, but apart from all that I think Ireland should be very pleasant. It seems to rate quite highly on surveys on the best places in the world to live; you can prove anything with statistics, can't you?

To make it even better, in Ireland I'll be meeting two beautiful girls, both native Irishers, one living in Cork and the other in a small town midway between Cork and Dublin, called Carrick-on-Suir. I've not quite figured out how to pronounce the final part of this last place – can it really sound like "sewer"? Both girls I know from my time in Korea, and so it has been some time since I last saw them: Eileen, the girl from Cork, was last seen about thirteen months ago, and sewer-girl Rebecca I've not seen for almost two years. So it'll be good to see them again, and reminisce fondly about younger times, before age and responsibility blighted our lives.

On Monday I'll be back in Aberdeen, and soon after I'll be away somewhere else on a job. Exactly when, exactly where, I don't yet know, but mark my words there'll be no Irish beauties there; just big, hairy, burly, brick-headed men. I question my life choices sometimes.

No comments: